I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
