my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
