i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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