hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
