so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
