If that was your dad, he is hot
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
