So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
