so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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