He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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