yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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