is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
