why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
