Christians are straight up FREAKS
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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