we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
