I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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