I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
