my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
