I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
