I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
