wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
