its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
