I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
