at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
