Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
