That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
