Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
meet me or not, i'm out of control
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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