Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
