Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
