That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
