i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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No stitches, just platelets and will power
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
