it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
