he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
