Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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