loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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