he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
