I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
