I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
