It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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