Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
