My Higher Power is John Stamos
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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