my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
