You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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