can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
