Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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