I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
