apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
