I want to stick my p in your. b.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
