the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
