i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
