Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
